Five Chinese parents forced children no longer confident

In an increasingly competitive society, one of the children from kindergarten to College, then to go to work day are faced with fierce competition. For our kids, in addition to its own capacities in the competition, the most important thing is confidence. This is no longer the age of humility, every opportunity, every job needs to be volunteered, only show themselves in the best light in the presence of others, to get those hard to come by chance. And all this needs confidence. It is regrettable that many parents in family education and children's daily communication are unknowingly destroy the child's self-confidence.
In other words, very often children's self-confidence is destroyed by their parents. This is by no means a sensational, whether too much praise or criticism is too severe to, could let the confidence in children a sense of inferiority or conceit. Many Chinese parents are thinking and some of the long-standing idea of track, great changes have taken place in social environments are still accustomed to the inherent concepts and methods to the management and education of the children, often have the opposite effect.
Some common practices are easy to ruin a child's self-confidence. For example:
1, pushed into the family concern "imprison bundle"
Chinese people traditionally have the view: strict, spoil, and teacher from the best. We cannot deny that this view is reasonable, but, after all, family education and school education is essential to a person's growth, lack of self-control in children growing up, the stern father and the teacher did have some positive effects on the healthy growth of children. However, teaching children severely alone is not enough. In the rapid development of society, economy and culture, family education component is increasing, "under the rod spoil the child" family has been unable to adapt to the pattern. Also, incorrect family education methods not only fail to help children correct their mistakes, it will bring trauma to the child's heart, brought shadow to the healthy growth of children.
In addition, harsh parents will let their children gradually lost and the courage of the parents to communicate, makes children feel isolated. When children are in school or when I encountered difficulties or setbacks in life, often because parents normally draconian choice alone, which is not conducive to helping children solve their problems, will make increasingly alienating distance between children and parents. Inside the lack of parental love, children's confidence and from any talk about it?
2, character development into the "rivalries"
This is many Chinese parents have committed a mistake. "You see who got the first three place again", "why don't you kids learn with others", "look at how sensible" language often appears in Chinese-style family education. Over time, the parents habits into nature, once their children make mistakes or unsatisfactory results of the examination will be on the lips of these languages, but this kind of "stimulus" doesn't stimulate the child determination to right a wrong, but will let the children into a deep sense of inferiority. None of the children in the world do not want parents feel proud of himself, always hear parents the language will not only make them lose courage to right a wrong, but will make children feel inferior in front of others.
In addition, parents of other children to understand is often one-sided, especially on their children's friends. Compared to their parents, children know more about advantages and disadvantages of smaller partners. If parents in front of the children with the strengths of others and compare their children's shortcomings, children first will think: that who have place as mine. This approach not only makes children feel wronged, will let your child have a reverse psychology. Sometimes, the so-called "generation gap" is gradually formed.
3, small little falls into the "survival of the fittest"
The opposite of confidence may not be inferior, may also be proud. For a growing child, ego may have greater harm than the inferior, easily makes the child meets, easier to let the children lost in the walking on air. Each made some small progress, it's best that parents, give them appropriate reward at this time is a great encouragement to the child. However, all are afraid of too much, parents to children exaggerated, overly rewards often make children feel awkward.
Because some parents see as a significant achievement for a child is not so is worth showing off, or even nothing at all. Children know what he can do, classmates, partners can be around. Parents at this time out of praise and show off not only fail to bring mental satisfaction, it will make them feel embarrassed, frustrated.
Poor parents, parents day, hope my children accomplish something. But the mood may be behind a magnifying glass, when favorable eye exposure in children through a magnifying glass, but may cause damage to children's mental health. Speaking to parents for their children is especially important to correct and objective evaluation.
4, the security force into a "greenhouse flowers"
A few days ago "school massacre" frequently, I see many users feeling: raising a child is not easy now, from the first breath of the child to grow up, parents day are worried about security issues. At this point, I have no objection. No parent in the world not to worry about children's safety, however this does not become a reason to restrict children activities.
Child is a separate individual. Although in adult former parent has custody of the child, but does not mean that children need parents to do everything, even those who in the eyes of parents and some "dangerous" behavior. We cannot expect a pampered child until age 18 just turned 18 year old birthday is to be independent, we can't expect small never challenged their children grow up to have had people drive.
Many parents may not be aware of the problem, what's the most important thing for a child. Eat candy? Unused allowance? No, in the hearts of children more important than "equality" Word. This idea is similar to human interests, and that does not originate from a certain kind of ambition, but simply is human instinct. We often hear kids complain: why others can go to school by themselves, I can't? Why? Need parents to answer to this question, thinking. Interest in them, does not mean that children trapped forever in the warmth of the brewing.
5, talent driven to self-reliance "pave arrangement of"
No parent wants to see their child fail, so a lot of parents will do everything possible to pave the way for children growing up all the way. For children to enter school back door, high jiedu fee examples abound in life. And other children had a hard time coming to university graduates, parents and do everything we can to help them find jobs, get married, buy a House. So, everything is arranged, children are looking back at the experience, found himself without a trace of man and boy to be proud of. Everything was arranged by his parents, growth trajectory as written well in advance of the plot.
In the traditional view, such practices beyond reproach, and proper. But parents ever, so how can children growing up full of confidence to the rest of your life, and how in an invincible position in the fierce competition? After all, parents can't accompany the children throughout their lives, some things require children to complete, confidence was also at the children again and again to overcome difficulties in the process of gradually accumulated.

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